Origin Stories: A Place to Lay My Head

I recently bought my first house. It has me thinking back to the various places I’ve lived over the years…and there’s quite a few. Somehow, including my time at university, this house is the 10th place I’ve lived in the past 19 years. Unlike my travels, the many residences haven’t been out of grand adventure, but rather bare necessity. I enjoy stories from darkness to light, and in a way this is one of those stories.

This has been an interesting writing experience. There’s something really personal about this topic, and often there are other stories happening in the foreground. This is more of a background thread, but one that feels somewhat integral to it all.

I guess this really isn’t a narrow twisty road adventure, and it is interesting how right after building the perfect camping vehicle I find myself in a more permanent house. More travels are definitely coming, but I think it’s useful to look back on where I’ve come from and how God has been working even in the less exciting things.

(maybe I need a new blog called The Small Rectangular House? Haha)

Sept 2005 to April 2006
Hamilton | Dorm 11

It seems these days that I know more people who lived with their parents at least a few years after 18. In my case, I moved out to go to university and never really moved back.

First year at Redeemer in Hamilton, I lived on campus in dorm 11. The dorms were townhouse style and there were 6 of us. We got along really well, and overall it was a great experience, even if we did spend too much time playing video games. It worked well, as I was very shy when it came to social things…and dorm 11 became a home away from home.

Looking back, I remember being able to move all my stuff in one car load. And I have a very distinct memory of driving my 1993 Cavalier to Hamilton by myself…a city that I knew almost nothing about at the time.

Speaking of “by myself”, my parents did follow along to help me move in…but I recall getting on the road early and by the time they arrived I was mostly setup and checked in. To be honest, I’m not really sure what made me do that…I was not a go-getter teenager at all. There was more of a sense that I was being gently nudged in this direction. Yet somehow my first move I pushed and did things mostly by myself.

I did move back home the following summer, but that was to be the last time as I lived in Hamilton the following summers.

Sept 2006 to April 2007
Hamilton | Dorm 42

2nd Year I was in Dorm 42. I don’t really remember the move in, although I’m sure it was a single car load again.

At Redeemer, in first year they chose who you lived with. In second year, we mostly chose our housemates. So a few of us from first year had got together for dorm 42. The list changed a bit and a few people were added. Some people moved on after first semester, so I had a roommate at first, and then had a room to myself.

It was a good group of guys, but it seemed each had their own friends to hang out with so we were a bit more fragmented. Also, unlike the previous year, no one put in any effort to keep the place clean. The kitchen especially was always a disaster. I recall occasionally setting out to clean it on my own…and then it would just be a mess the next day.

The interesting thing is, in second semester when I had a room to myself, I enjoyed it…mostly just because it was the first time I had my own room since being a very young child. This will be a trend…enjoying the little things…not really realizing how rough it sometimes was until I moved to the next small improvement.

That being said, this was a rough time. I crashed my car, and otherwise was having a hard time fitting in at university.

May to Aug 2007
Hamilton | Room in House
(The Blue Castle)

The summer after 2nd year, I worked a co-op in the IT department at Redeemer. There’s a house next door to the university that they rent out, and was known as the Blue Castle.(it had light blue siding) I can’t remember exactly how I ended up living there…one of my dormmates also lived there that summer, so I guess I heard about it from him. Either way, it was a path of least resistance choice. I was still pretty shy and didn’t have any idea how to go about finding a place to live…keep in mind this was before most social media and even kijiji was relatively new at the time.

I had my own room again, but I remember it being kind of miserable because the house didn’t have air conditioning and the room was upstairs and super hot. There was two of us at first, then another two moved in…but it was a 3 bedroom house, so one guy slept in the living room. We mostly kept to ourselves.

Again, this house became disastrously messy, especially the kitchen. It was so bad there was a cloud of fruit flies. I had my own pots, pans and dishes…but once it became clear that the others were never going to clean them, I moved them up to my room and only brought them down when I used them…this led to some arguments. Again, I would occasionally spend a bunch of time cleaning the kitchen, and imploring the others to keep things cleaner…but to no avail. The crazy thing is, I’m not a neat freak at all, it was really that bad.

An interesting side note: it was this summer that I went on my first camping trip with friends to Algonquin.

Aug 2007 to Sept 2011
Hamilton | Townhouse basement
(The Matchbox)

As the summer ended, a friend was moving out of a nearby townhouse, leaving an open spot. So I took the opportunity…the path of least resistance again, but this one turned out better. It was a group of mostly Canadian Reformed seminary students, and they kept the place really clean and organized…so much so that I was the messy one. That was a bit of a reversal!

My “room” was a bit ad hoc. It was a 3 bedroom townhouse, but there were 6 guys living there. The basement was finished…there was a curtain hung up and some plywood that split the room into 2, and another guy was in the laundry room. We had to twist the lightbulbs to control our own lights, since there was just one switch, and my bed was a makeshift raised platform with a mattress…kind of like an upper bunk, only 3 feet from the ceiling…and I climbed up by stepping on the desk. It also wasn’t fully private, as people had to walk through to get to the laundry room. But the rent was super cheap and the general living situation was vastly improved.

The housemates were great, it was clean, and a nice place to live. They invited me into the local bible study group, so I became a bit more social through it all. I made some good friends, and even took some camping to Algonquin. The residents changed a bit over the years with a few of us being there longer term. By the end, there were no more students and we were all working some sort of job.

This is the 2nd longest that I lived in the same place.(not including with my parents) A lot changed in these four years. I worked a co-op job in Welland, graduated from university, got a software job, lost the job, worked landscaping, got another software job, had a car stolen, joined a new church, and started going on bigger road trips….oh and near the end we had to deal with bed bugs… Occasionally there were issues with the other housemates, but generally this was a solid ground during the foreground turmoil of these years. Clearly, God had a plan in leading me here.

(apparently the name Matchbox was because at one time, the first initials of the residents spelled the word “Match”)

Sept 2011 to July 2013
Hamilton | House basement

At this point, the church some of the guys attended was renting out the house next to the church. It had 4 bedrooms plus a room on the main floor that we used as a bedroom, and they were going to finish 2 more in the basement. I’m having trouble remembering exactly who lived here at what time. There were 4 of us that were long term, but generally we tried to keep the number up to the max of 7. Those last 3 spots were quite transient and rent fluctuated during this time as result.

I had enjoyed how basements were cooler in the summer, so I wanted one of the basement rooms. The rooms weren’t finished yet when we moved in, so I ended up in the living room for a bit. I can’t remember how long it was…a month or two?

Eventually the basement room was finished, and I really enjoyed it. It had a light switch, a door, a closet, and the bed wasn’t 3 feet from the ceiling. Really it was a pretty standard room, but after the last one, this was a huge improvement. Meanwhile, my bed was still just a mattress on the floor… At this point I had taken ownership of a desk, chair, dresser and mattress that had been left behind by previous housemates.

The house was quite roomy in general, and even had a garage…and I managed to convince the others to let me be the one to use it…to park my little Acura RSX. It was on the edge of town, and kind of in the country…surrounded by a sod field, which I enjoyed walking in from time to time.

Of course there were still downsides. There was no high speed internet available, and the only cost effective option was satellite, which was slow, especially when shared between 7 people. The cell signal was kind of weak as well, and in the basement was almost non-existent. I made it work by keeping my cellphone in a glass, which gave it enough signal…but if someone called me, I had to run upstairs to answer the phone. This was also a period when I was working remotely for a company in London, so the connectivity issues were a bit more annoying.

The house also had drainage issues, that usually were dealt with by a sump pump, but several times the power went out and the basement flooded….remember: my room was in the basement. So some of my stuff got wet a few times…including my on-the-floor mattress, which by the end of the 2 years, was getting moldy…

And at this point there was less effort made to keep things clean. It mostly wasn’t too bad as we had a schedule, but then someone would miss their turn, and then the next one wouldn’t do it and then we would get in arguments about who would clean the extended mess.

Overall it was an ok place to live, considering it was a group of guys. Up to this point, I didn’t really care much about my living situation. I just took things in stride and didn’t really think about it. Having a nice place to live wasn’t something I thought about at all. I also couldn’t have even begun to afford anything else…cheap rent was keeping me afloat. Really, God was making sure that I didn’t have to worry about a place to live during these lean years.

Aug 2013 – No fixed address

I enjoy this one, and it’s kind of interesting how it all worked out.

Earlier in 2013, my employer in London had a new office space and was encouraging us to come in to work. So I had started looking for apartments in London. Around the same time the church was going to need the house we were living in, so the guys were looking for a new place. I had also been given permission for my first really big cross country trip. So it happened that I moved out of the house in Hamilton, went on a month long road trip, and then moved into the apartment in London.

At this point I had some furniture, so my brothers came with a trailer at the end of July and we moved my stuff to London. I wasn’t getting my apartment until September, so all my stuff was put in storage for the month of August while I road tripped across Canada.

Sept 2013 to Oct 2014
London | Apartment

In planning to move to London, I wanted to get my own apartment. While housemates weren’t all bad, I had experienced a lot of downsides. Over the years in Hamilton I had observed that housemates were very transient. That worked reasonably well when there was a large group, but I worried about finding a roommate, only to have them move on, leaving me looking for another person, and stuck covering the rent until then. Plus, there was no guarantee that they would be nice to live with… Perhaps this was the beginning of a desire to find something more permanent.

So I got a small one bedroom apartment on the ground floor of a 3-story walk-up. It didn’t have the greatest layout: the kitchen was tiny, and there wasn’t really a dining room. But, I had thrown out my moldy mattress, and my parents got me a decent used bed/mattress. I also enjoyed having my own kitchen, and kept the place clean.

Despite the nice bed, I had a really tough time sleeping. During the colder months, the place was heated by radiator and couldn’t be adjusted…and it was very warm. So of course the answer is to open the window…but that meant any slight breeze would blow the blinds around, making noise and flashing light all over the place. I really needed the blinds because my ground floor bedroom was right next to the entrance to the building, which had a bright light…and people walking by making noise through all hours of the night.

It was kind of a rough time in general, as I wasn’t making much money at the time, and still had student debt and a car loan. I had assumed things would get better at work, but it just wasn’t happening. Just barely scraping by, I wasn’t able to do much to make it like home. So it was pretty sparse, with just the few bits of furniture I had.

I don’t really have any fond memories of this apartment…mostly because I was having a really hard time financially and spiritually. I think God used this hard time as a bit of a rock bottom that brought me back to Him after a time of being distant.

Oct 2014 to Jan 2016
London | Pastor’s Basement

Next, to help out with my bad finances, I moved to my pastor’s basement. This was very different once again, as they had a bunch of small children, and I was also sharing meals with them.

The room was nice, it was big enough to fit my couch, so I had my own private area. I also did sit up in the living room to enjoy some sunlight. I was introduced to good coffee, enjoyed good food and evenings of board games. There was a good backroad loop in the area that I went cycling on and my pastor and I would go for walks(we still do). I even taught myself to play a little on their piano.

I do recall the kids being a bit loud on Saturday mornings when I was hoping to sleep in…but that’s a minor complaint. It was really uplifting, to be shown some of God’s care and provision through this family!

But of course this was only temporary, and the time came to move on.

Feb 2016 to Jan 2022
London | Room in a Condo

My finances had stabilized…but I was now used to paying very little for rent/food, and I didn’t want to lose that extra money. So I ended up finding a kijiji ad for a room in a condo with a retired man and his partner.

It was a quiet neighborhood, the bedroom was roomy, with shared kitchen and living room…plus a theater room in the basement that he didn’t use anymore. There was also some storage space in the basement. The owners were generally quiet so it worked out fairly well.

There were various awkward parts, and I never really felt comfortable cooking in the shared kitchen. I did have my own small fridge that was in the bedroom, but this was also a downfall, as fridges put off a small amount of heat, so the room was always a bit warmer than I would have liked. Over the years as my landlord got older, he preferred to keep the temperature really warm…so we did have some arguments over the thermostat. Over time I acquired more stuff, and my room was becoming kind of full, and harder to keep clean.

Meanwhile, this became the longest that I lived in one place since my parents. Just under 6 years. Looking back, it almost seems a bit weird, and I remember being a bit embarrassed by my living situation as a 30 year old…but really, it wasn’t that bad, and was nicer than living in an apartment.

Previously, my living situations were merely for survival. I couldn’t have easily afforded much else. Throughout this period, I could have started thinking about my own apartment, or saving for a house, but I had aspirations to buy a Jeep and go on grand adventures. So that’s what I did. I stayed here as long as I did because the cheap rent helped enable my ever grander road trips…this was where I was living when I went on my big trip to Yukon.

Jan 2022 to October 2024
London | Basement Apartment

After my big Yukon trip(2019), I had begun to think about finding my own apartment once again. My finances had reached a point that I could easily afford one and still have some funds left over for road trips. Thinking back, I realize that before covid I was going into an office every day for work…but then things shifted and I was working from home. That made being in a shared condo feel a little more uncomfortable as I was there all the time.

I kept an eye on apartments in London for a while, being picky and having a good idea what I wanted. I liked the idea of a basement apartment. Generally they can be quieter than being in an apartment building, and can come with their own laundry and a private driveway. Plus, there’s a higher chance of finding one with air conditioning. This was the first time I had been more intentional with finding a place to live without some need driving it. I had a better idea of what worked and what didn’t, and I took my time finding it.

I eventually found one, and moved there right at the end of Christmas holidays. It was a nice setup with a fully separate driveway spot, private laundry, and a separate entrance…completely separate from the house above. It was also just a couple blocks from the river trails, which I enjoyed cycling on.

This apartment was an interesting mixed bag. I really enjoyed having my own place…especially the kitchen. I dabbled a little in various things like sourdough, cold brew coffee and making Shepherds Pie. When I moved here, the intent was to stay long term. I wasn’t convinced that home ownership was worth the cost…especially with the rising cost of houses.

But then there were the upstairs neighbors… It was a mother, grandfather, and 2 teenage boys, but the mother didn’t seem to be around much. One of the boys smoked pot…and at least initially did it in the house. A major downfall to a basement apartment is that they share the heating vents between floors…so I was getting pretty heavy fumes in my space. The heating and air conditioning was also an issue…it seemed sometimes like they turned the furnace off in the middle of winter and it wouldn’t run at all. Or other times it would run non-stop because they had a window open. I didn’t care as much in the summer, as the basement is cooler anyway…but there was one time I came home from work and on a hot summer day the heat was on…apparently the one kid got cold, so he switched the furnace to heat. I had been complaining regularly to the landlord…he did what he could. Eventually the pot smoke was mostly not happening, and the thermostat control was moved down to my apartment.

So things were kind of working…but then the mother and one of the boys moved out. The grandfather pretty much let the other kid get away with anything. The boy had a gang of friends that would come at night and they would go around the neighborhood collecting stuff and filling the backyard until it was like a dumpster. I’m pretty sure some of the stuff was stolen as at this point the police started coming by somewhat regularly. Another downfall to a basement apartment is that packages often just get delivered to the front door…and at this point, the kid would often just take the package and I would come up to get it and discover he had already opened it. I also had a package or 2 suspiciously go missing completely.

I put up with most of it, but the garbage from the backyard started spilling out into my parking area and I began to push back pretty hard. The landlord started working on getting them evicted, eventually succeeding early 2024. By that time, the tires on my Jeep had been slashed twice, and I had a security camera put up. The landlord was really good through it all, even paying part of my tire costs.

I did get to enjoy about 5 months with no upstairs neighbor, and then the couple that did move in were really nice people and would have made great neighbors…but I moved on shortly after.

I had begun considering buying a house about 1 year in…realizing that similar to some bad experiences with roommates, apartment neighbors could be just as bad…or worse. I was also starting to wish I had a garage and a backyard. So I had been keeping my eye on cheaper houses for the last 2 years…but if I was going to be buying, it had to have what I wanted for my price range…which I was keeping fairly low. If I was going to pay more for my living space, it had to provide more than my apartment…and many cheap houses didn’t.

Similarly to before, I had aspirations to build my Jeep camper, which was going to be very expensive. So I held out longer than you might think, while finishing up the camper build. Perhaps I could have found another apartment while looking for a house, but at this point I was getting tired of all the moving, and wanted my next move to be more permanent.

It is interesting to think that God used the trials at this apartment to nudge me toward buying a house. I was planning on renting long term when I moved here.

Oct 2024 to Present
London | Homeowner

That brings us to now. It might have come as a surprise to some, as a good deal came up and I bought a house in short order…but I had been looking for a while. My requirements meant that not many houses fit the bill. The garage wasn’t a must have, but it was something I really wanted, and the house I bought has one…which isn’t common for the cheaper price range. Also, for a cheap house, it isn’t a fixer-upper. There are a bunch of minor things that I’ll be fixing/changing in the next year, but none of them are big issues.

I’m enjoying it so far. It is interesting to have more control…in the sense that if I don’t like something, it can be replaced/changed. It is also nice to be able to make as much noise as I want with the stereo without anyone caring, and it is great to not be so directly affected by neighbors. It’s not the best time of year to fully enjoy the back yard and porch, but I do look forward to getting a bbq and sitting out on the back porch in the nice weather. Also, it’s within walking distance of both work and church, which I’ve been enjoying. It is still reasonably close to the river trails, so once it warms up I can still easily go cycling.

I’ve already been busy with some homeowner type stuff, like cleaning out eavestroughs and fixing a few things, and I will admit, it is fulfilling when it’s on my own house.

It is a really small house, and not in the nicest neighborhood. There’s perhaps a small sense that for someone my age, I feel behind compared with my peers. But I have and continue to prioritize my travels, and that’s an area where I definitely have abounded in blessing. At this point though, to have my travels, camper Jeep AND own a house, is really beyond what I would have imagined even a few years ago…and completely absurd 10 years ago.

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I’m not sure exactly what the conclusion should be here. I’ve gone back and forth on even publishing this. I find this history incredibly compelling. Mostly because after 19 years of various living circumstances, this feels huge. Yet it’s something that can be easy to take for granted. Five years ago, I wouldn’t have imagined buying a house. 10 Years ago I was financially destitute. The interesting thing is how God has always been working in my life, providing what I need at the right time, and often times nudging me in the right direction…even when it takes years to get there. In a way, I hope this can be encouraging to anyone who feels stuck, with no path forward…God is working, even when you can’t see it.

It’s kind of interesting as well to see how my plans have changed over time. It makes me think of Proverbs 16:9

“A man’s heart plans his way,
But the LORD directs his steps.”

That can seem hard to swallow, when our plans aren’t the way the Lord would have us take, but I’ve found over and over again that God is patient and gentle, and works with us where were are.

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There is so much foreground story to this as well, but I’m not quite sure how to interweave the stories. Read more of my Origin Stories to paint a fuller picture! I’m sure I could fill a book with all my life experiences..